Game Day Point Amplification Factor

It's baseball season.  Have you been to a game recently and looked around the ballpark and thought to yourself, "Wow, look at all the pretty girls here."?  If not, then you're either,

a) One of those pretty girls.
b) A genuine baseball fan.
c) Watching a team other than the Mariners.

At least that's what I'm thinking about at every game.  Whenever a baseball game gets in my itinerary, I look forward to that side benefit of going to Safeco Field (check out that MKA designed roof!).

Inevitably the question comes to my mind, "Why are there so many pretty girls at baseball games?"  Is it because only really attractive girls go to baseball games?  Maybe, but this seems unlikely.  Is it because girls are more attractive to me when they're at the ballpark?  Probably.

As a structural engineer, I use amplification factors every day.  We use them so that unfortunate stuff like this doesn't happen.  So of course I want to quantify this increased attractiveness in an accurate amplification factor that I can understand.  Warning, shallow guy comments: I think girls add 2 points of hotness when they're dressed up and at the game.  So a girl who would normally be a 6 is easily now an 8.  An 8 is now a 10.  And everyone is happy.  I call it the "Game Day Point Amplification Factor" or GDPAF for short (pronounced "G" "D" "Paf").

Now this is all in good fun, and not intended to be mean spirited.  Obviously there are more important things to a girl than her looks...it's just I'm not thinking about those at baseball games.  Those are 3rd date thoughts.

I've discussed GDPAF with many friends, and they all agree it exists.  But after putting more thought into it - and I've thought a lot about this - I still have more questions than answers.  Why are there so many pretty girls at baseball games?

First of all, there's certainly the simple fact that a baseball game is kind of like a party, and guys and girls alike put an extra effort in looking good for the game.  Girls might take a little more time on their hair, or their eyelashes, or whatever it is that they do.  This extra effort would be similar to going on a date.  Yawn.

But I think it's more than that.  Deeper than that.

There's something about a girl decked out in her fan gear that turns my head.  Is it the feminine expression of a traditional male role that catches the eye?  When you see a girl and she's wearing your favorite athlete's jersey there's a mixture of good emotions.  Just like that powerful athlete, she's wearing a jersey...but her jersey is a little different.  It fits her differently.  She wears it differently.  And you like her take on things.  Probably akin to your thoughts when you see bacon (masculine) in your favorite chocolate chip cookie (feminine).  You really want to eat that cookie.


Similarly but with a subtle difference, I think the male fascination with girls playing "dress-up" plays a part in GDPAF.  It's like a family friendly Halloween party that has a strict sports theme.  It's a weird fascination that I don't quite understand, but it's real.  Is it interesting to see a girl dressed in hyperbole?  If so, why?  Does a simple idea help the male mind focus our attention:

Guy at Halloween, "Hey look.  That girl's a cop.  That girl's a cat.  And that girl's a Catholic school girl." <No more thoughts>

Anymore discussion of this GDPAF factor might risk the PG rating of this blog.

I also think the environment plays a role.  Seeing a girl at the ballpark communicates common interests.  You're subconsciously thinking, "Oh hey, she likes baseball enough to be dressed up at the ballpark, kinda like me.  I bet we'd get along."  That's a reasonable assumption we can make at the ballpark.  This would be like meeting a girl on the bacon chocolate chip cookie bakery tour.  Plus think of all the future arguments you'd save yourself - "<Insert name>, you care too much about baseball!" - if you met her at a baseball game.

But with that, let me pause and offer a word of caution about GDPAF.  Be careful about starting relationships with girls that you meet at baseball games.  You may meet up with her later and realize that you're just not that into her.  That's because you met her at a baseball game when she was 2 points more attractive to you.  Take advantage of GDPAF by taking a girl that you've met elsewhere to a baseball game, and you'll be pleasantly surprised.

I have a few more thoughts on the matter, but I could write a thesis on it, so I'll leave it at that.  But I've identified other questions that still need to be addressed with GDPAF:

Does it work at all sports?

GDPAF most certainly exists at NFL games, but I've been disappointed at my MLS games.  It may not exist for MLS unfortunately, but I'll go to a few more games before writing it off.

I haven't been to as many NBA or NHL games as I'd like, so I can't be sure.  Seattle needs to bring in an NHL team and bring back the Sonics to get these answers.  Plus I bet their stadium will have some interesting looking slabs.

My good friend Trevor (not a structural engineer, but a fellow rhubarb lover) has been a consultant on GDPAF since its beginning.  He believes that rodeos may have a dangerously high amplification factor of +3.  Be careful at rodeos.

Is GDPAF stronger or weaker for college sports?

At first thought, I was thinking GDPAF is stronger at the collegiate level.  I thought of the time that Ole Miss fan (major: civil engineering), needed a boost to see her team over the crowd but below her eye shadow.  But maybe I think the amplification factor is stronger because there are more girls my age at those games.  Maybe as I grow older, I'll find that GDPAF at professional sports is stronger.  "Time will tell" is the only answer for this one.

What's GDPAF like for the Minnesota teams?

When all the girls who go to those games are already 10s before going into the ballpark, what happens to them?  Do they break the scales and become 12s?!  This is hard to think about for too long.  I feel the same confusion I felt as a child when trying to comprehend the concept of "eternity."  It just doesn't make sense, and it's scary.  But that might explain why Minnesota teams haven't won too many championships.  Too much GDPAF distracting the players.