Ship Happens

As long as there'll be buildings, I'll be comin' back again.

Can you remember your first day of work at your first real job?  What was it like?  If it was anything like mine, you were probably nervous as hell walking through the front doors.  I got in the elevator, hit 32, and thought to myself, "I have absolutely no clue what I'm doing."

As the elevator filled with people, the man next to me dropped something he intended in putting in his pocket.  It wasn't anything important, possibly trash even.  I picked it up and gave it to him, saying, "Oh hey, you dropped this."  He responded, "Thank you!"  It was a simple interaction, but my mind was swirling; "Is this my future boss?  Is this the right foot that I needed to start on?  We'll look back on this with fond memories."  Then he got off on 25.  Damn!  A good deed wasted!

After arriving on 32, HR greeted me and did their HR thing, and eventually I was directed to my desk.  I couldn't believe it.  Although not technically a "window seat," our cubicles have low-walls, so I could look out onto the heart of downtown Seattle.  It was a bright and beautiful day - and for a moment - I forgot to be nervous.

I miss those days:

Anyways, Danya (my real boss) came over and started talking about the project I was going to be working on - Waiea Tower.  Whoa!  It was super cool, and I realized that I scored big.  The side of the building undulates like the waves of the ocean (which is only a block away).  He told me that it was a super fancy condo tower that will be sold to 1%-ers who will be there for only one or two weeks of the year.

Danya: "See all these people on the streets in these renderings?  It won't be like that in real life at all.  It'll sit empty for most of the year. <sigh>  But hey!  Look how cool it looks!"

I could tell I was going to like him.

My first task would be to design the penthouse that was going to break the Hawaii real estate record for - You Have Too Much Money, Give It To Me.

What does your condo need for it to qualify for Hawaii's YHTMM, GITM record?  Well, for starters it's on the 35th floor with a protected view of the ocean across the street.  You've got a helicopter?  That's cool, cuz your penthouse comes with a helipad.  That comes in handy if The Rock needs to rescue you from a tsunami, or you need to have a secret chat with Leo.  Want an infinity pool that blends into the oceanic horizon so you don't know where your pool ends and the ocean begins?  That comes standard.  What about "lanai space" you ask?  (In Hawaii exterior decks are called lanais).  It comes with over 1000 square feet of lanai space - which happens to be about twice the size of my one-bedroom apartment in Seattle.

Out came the trace-paper (translucent paper, not my personal brand of paper) and he started sketching out design suggestions.

Danya, "We'll put a column here, here, here,...., and here.  Put some beams here, here, here,....., and here.  Lateral system will go here, and here.  Definitely not there, right?  <hahaha>" (I faked like I understood the joke and laughed too) "And we'll cantilever this lanai, like this.  So...I think that should get you started.  I'll let you take this and run with it.  Figure out what all this needs to be for it to work."

I had this overwhelming panic sweep my body.  Like the kind of panic you had as a teenager when you had to tell your parents you wrecked their car.  He was about to leave, and I had not the slightest idea of what my next move was going to be.  How long should I wait before going up to him and saying, "Hey Danya.  I'm a failure.  I don't have a clue on how to do this.  Can you help me, or should you just fire me now?  Please don't fire me.  I'm a really good guy!  I even helped out some guy on the elevator on my way up here this morning."  Should I wait 10 minutes before starting that conversation?  Half hour?  Maybe I'll push it to an hour and enjoy this view while I still have it.

But before he left, he said, "And don't worry.  Katelin will help you every step of the way." 

On cue, Katelin  arrived and introduced herself.  Wow.  What a hero!  Katelin rescued me that day, and for many more days, weeks, and probably months after that day.  Don't worry, Katelin will show up again in a future post.

You, "ENOUGH TALKING, LET'S SEE THIS SLAB THAT LOOKS LIKE A THING!"

Sheesh, don't yell!  It's coming!  I just wanted to share what my first day of work was like.  This slab was quite literally the first thing I ever worked on in my professional career.  So it has a special place in my heart.

This penthouse has undergone countless design iterations; the architects can't stop fiddling around with it.  In fact, I worked on it this week!  Anyways, it was eventually turned into a concrete structure, and got even bigger.  A few months ago, I was pivoting my slab and looked at it from a new angle, and I saw it.  It's a freaking tug boat!

P.S.  Here's a pretty cool video that I shared on Facebook awhile back.  It's a construction update on Waiea Tower.  Construction pictures/videos are the best because they haven't covered up the beautiful concrete with the architect's stuff.

Beethoven No. 9

This slab that looks like a thing is the reason why Slabs That Look Like Things exists.  If each slab were a symphony, this one would be Beethoven's 9th.  If each slab were a movie franchise, this one would be Star Wars.  If each slab were a country, this one would be America.  If each slab were a - well you get the idea.

Now to lower expectations; it's simply a personal favorite of mine.  Feel free to disagree.

Once again, this comes from my Park Lane project in Hawaii (see Monster's Inc. for interesting background info).  This specific slab comes from the amenity deck of the building.  This is where all the residents of the buildings come to relax, party, walk their dog, etc.  This graphic will summarize it better:

So what you need to know here for my engineering perspective is that all of this stuff is super heavy.  You could probably guess that pools, hot tubs, and full grown trees aren't light.  It's my job to make sure this can safely exist 50 feet above the ground.  It's currently under construction.

I was in the throes of designing this amenity deck at my lowest lows.  For one, it was an enormous slab; it's the largest slab I have ever put in one model.  It took almost an hour to run the load history analysis!  Imagine waiting an hour, and a quick glance at your results tells you that you forgot something.  Not a fun feeling.  Secondly, there are a lot of details to figure out how to accommodate so much architecture everywhere.  And lastly, everything was just plain old heavy.  It wasn't easy.

In my despair, someone came to my rescue as usual.  This time it was my former co-worker and podmate, Eric.  Eric is one cool cat who is working for Forell/Elsesser down in San Francisco now.  He's Asian-American but he's definitely more Jeremy Lin than your high school's valedictorian.  But then again, Jeremy Lin went to Harvard and Eric went to Stanford...so maybe he's both.  He's from L.A. but irrationally likes all the Philadelphia teams.  And I gotta say, I'll be rooting hard for the 76ers this year because of him.

In his perfectly American English accent, he said to me, "Trace, your slab looks an awful lot like the Millennium Falcon." [mic drop]

You would not believe how much I lost my shit after he pointed this out.  I showed all my coworkers, showed my friends, showed my bosses,  It was great date material too.  I couldn't share it with enough people.

Star Wars Infatuation:

I loved Star Wars as a kid.  I remember a Christmas where I got the trilogy and think I watched the movies daily for the rest of the break.  My friends in Rapid made up a Star Wars-like fantasy world that we played in (TSFG - Terrain Space Forces Galactic - we were so nerdy).  We were space captains on our bikes riding around the neighborhood.  I was in denial for a long time about how bad the the prequels were.  I had convinced myself that they were great movies.  As I grew up, I realized that there were far more dedicated fans than me, and I decided that I should temper the fandom a bit.  But that didn't stop me and some friends from camping out for Episode III!

Now you can see how thrilled I was when I found myself designing the Millennium Falcon as an adult.  What a treat.  This is my Symphony No. 9.  It won't get any better.

But there's still some good stuff to come.  So don't fret.

Game Day Point Amplification Factor

It's baseball season.  Have you been to a game recently and looked around the ballpark and thought to yourself, "Wow, look at all the pretty girls here."?  If not, then you're either,

a) One of those pretty girls.
b) A genuine baseball fan.
c) Watching a team other than the Mariners.

At least that's what I'm thinking about at every game.  Whenever a baseball game gets in my itinerary, I look forward to that side benefit of going to Safeco Field (check out that MKA designed roof!).

Inevitably the question comes to my mind, "Why are there so many pretty girls at baseball games?"  Is it because only really attractive girls go to baseball games?  Maybe, but this seems unlikely.  Is it because girls are more attractive to me when they're at the ballpark?  Probably.

As a structural engineer, I use amplification factors every day.  We use them so that unfortunate stuff like this doesn't happen.  So of course I want to quantify this increased attractiveness in an accurate amplification factor that I can understand.  Warning, shallow guy comments: I think girls add 2 points of hotness when they're dressed up and at the game.  So a girl who would normally be a 6 is easily now an 8.  An 8 is now a 10.  And everyone is happy.  I call it the "Game Day Point Amplification Factor" or GDPAF for short (pronounced "G" "D" "Paf").

Now this is all in good fun, and not intended to be mean spirited.  Obviously there are more important things to a girl than her looks...it's just I'm not thinking about those at baseball games.  Those are 3rd date thoughts.

I've discussed GDPAF with many friends, and they all agree it exists.  But after putting more thought into it - and I've thought a lot about this - I still have more questions than answers.  Why are there so many pretty girls at baseball games?

First of all, there's certainly the simple fact that a baseball game is kind of like a party, and guys and girls alike put an extra effort in looking good for the game.  Girls might take a little more time on their hair, or their eyelashes, or whatever it is that they do.  This extra effort would be similar to going on a date.  Yawn.

But I think it's more than that.  Deeper than that.

There's something about a girl decked out in her fan gear that turns my head.  Is it the feminine expression of a traditional male role that catches the eye?  When you see a girl and she's wearing your favorite athlete's jersey there's a mixture of good emotions.  Just like that powerful athlete, she's wearing a jersey...but her jersey is a little different.  It fits her differently.  She wears it differently.  And you like her take on things.  Probably akin to your thoughts when you see bacon (masculine) in your favorite chocolate chip cookie (feminine).  You really want to eat that cookie.


Similarly but with a subtle difference, I think the male fascination with girls playing "dress-up" plays a part in GDPAF.  It's like a family friendly Halloween party that has a strict sports theme.  It's a weird fascination that I don't quite understand, but it's real.  Is it interesting to see a girl dressed in hyperbole?  If so, why?  Does a simple idea help the male mind focus our attention:

Guy at Halloween, "Hey look.  That girl's a cop.  That girl's a cat.  And that girl's a Catholic school girl." <No more thoughts>

Anymore discussion of this GDPAF factor might risk the PG rating of this blog.

I also think the environment plays a role.  Seeing a girl at the ballpark communicates common interests.  You're subconsciously thinking, "Oh hey, she likes baseball enough to be dressed up at the ballpark, kinda like me.  I bet we'd get along."  That's a reasonable assumption we can make at the ballpark.  This would be like meeting a girl on the bacon chocolate chip cookie bakery tour.  Plus think of all the future arguments you'd save yourself - "<Insert name>, you care too much about baseball!" - if you met her at a baseball game.

But with that, let me pause and offer a word of caution about GDPAF.  Be careful about starting relationships with girls that you meet at baseball games.  You may meet up with her later and realize that you're just not that into her.  That's because you met her at a baseball game when she was 2 points more attractive to you.  Take advantage of GDPAF by taking a girl that you've met elsewhere to a baseball game, and you'll be pleasantly surprised.

I have a few more thoughts on the matter, but I could write a thesis on it, so I'll leave it at that.  But I've identified other questions that still need to be addressed with GDPAF:

Does it work at all sports?

GDPAF most certainly exists at NFL games, but I've been disappointed at my MLS games.  It may not exist for MLS unfortunately, but I'll go to a few more games before writing it off.

I haven't been to as many NBA or NHL games as I'd like, so I can't be sure.  Seattle needs to bring in an NHL team and bring back the Sonics to get these answers.  Plus I bet their stadium will have some interesting looking slabs.

My good friend Trevor (not a structural engineer, but a fellow rhubarb lover) has been a consultant on GDPAF since its beginning.  He believes that rodeos may have a dangerously high amplification factor of +3.  Be careful at rodeos.

Is GDPAF stronger or weaker for college sports?

At first thought, I was thinking GDPAF is stronger at the collegiate level.  I thought of the time that Ole Miss fan (major: civil engineering), needed a boost to see her team over the crowd but below her eye shadow.  But maybe I think the amplification factor is stronger because there are more girls my age at those games.  Maybe as I grow older, I'll find that GDPAF at professional sports is stronger.  "Time will tell" is the only answer for this one.

What's GDPAF like for the Minnesota teams?

When all the girls who go to those games are already 10s before going into the ballpark, what happens to them?  Do they break the scales and become 12s?!  This is hard to think about for too long.  I feel the same confusion I felt as a child when trying to comprehend the concept of "eternity."  It just doesn't make sense, and it's scary.  But that might explain why Minnesota teams haven't won too many championships.  Too much GDPAF distracting the players.

"Clothes Line!"

This slab also comes from my previous project, Park Lane.  See my earlier post if you're curious on the interesting details of this development.

To set up the scene, our office occupies the entire 32nd floor and most of the 33rd floor of Rainier Tower.  On each floor, we have low walled cubicles surrounding a single narrow walkway; if you're walking around the office in this walkway you can see everyone hard at work in their cubicles.  In your cubicle, if you're facing toward the window - which I do - then your screen is also visible from this walkway.

Once again I was hitting a rough patch in my slab design, and I decided I needed to take a break.  I got up, turned around, and instantly made strong eye contact with a heavy hitter passing by in the walkway, Robert.  He, like most of my co-workers, is absolutely brilliant.  He's personally responsible for the complex analysis of some inspiring buildings going up in the world.  But he also seems like a really cool guy cuz I've overheard him casually swear a lot.  Plus he's from New Zealand, so he sounds even cooler doing it.

While I was quickly thinking to myself of the appropriate response for our mistaken and sudden eye contact,

1. Head nod?
2. "Hey Robert."? - are we on a name basis?  Probably not.
3. Look away quickly and pretend it didn't happen?
4. Casually smile and - 

he interrupts my thoughts and points at my computer and in his Kiwi accent says, "Clothes line! Your model looks like shirts hanging on a clothes line."

He came over to my computer for a closer look, and sure enough the slabs and the PT tendons I was designing looked like Waldo-striped shirts hanging on a clothes line.  We had a good laugh about it.  Then I showed him Sully's face from a few weeks earlier and we had another good laugh.  By the end of this I felt comfortable that the next time we made eye contact in our walkway I could say, "Hey Robert," if I wanted to.

Before I wrap this up, I just want to take a moment and express how much I loved Waldo as a kid.  My parents got me all the books and it was endless entertainment for me.  I found him over and over again, until I had all the pages memorized.  Then I'd still find him over and over again.

I have a vivid memory of dressing up as Waldo for Halloween Christmas.  As a family we all dressed up as Waldo (they were all posers, I was the real Waldo) and we went Christmas caroling around the neighborhood.  I remember loving it so much.  Judging from the picture, I don't think Tyler or Tally liked it at all.  What you can't see from the picture is that the only one who might be enjoying himself more than me in this moment is my dad.

So all in all, I bonded with Robert and I found Waldo that day.  That's a pretty good day.

P.S. If you're interested in finding Waldo, check out my friend, Brett Smith, from Thunder Bay, Canada.  I met him and his friends in Pamplona, Spain as they were starting out a big European vacation.  He is posing as Waldo at every single major European tourist attraction, and with every picture I feel a pang of jealousy that I didn't think of doing this first.

Update: Brett's facebook page is on lock down.  If you want to see all the Waldo pictures from all over Europe (they're pretty good), just friend him - he'll add you.

Monsters Inc.

My first slab that looks like a thing, comes from my beast of a project called Park Lane.  You'll be seeing more slabs from Park Lane in the future.  Here's a quick rundown of the project.

The Ala Moana Shopping Mall just off Waikiki is one of the most profitable malls in the world.  You may have been there.  With all the tourists coming in, they need a place to spend their money, and this paradisiacal mall is the perfect place.

But they've got this ugly, albeit necessary, 3 story parking garage that completely surrounds their lucrative mall.  They look at that, and think, "What a crying shame.  This beautiful view of the ocean is going to waste."  Then they look at their customers and notice they're particularly successful with rich Chinese tourists - and holy shit - they're rich.


Then they get this bright idea, "Hey, let's build a 6 story ultra luxury condo on top of our parking garage that faces the ocean.  Then we'll market them to these rich Chinese people as home bases while they shop.  I bet we could charge a lot of money for them."

That's how Park Lane came to be, and that's what pays my bills.  And in case you're interested, they'll take anyone's money.  You don't HAVE to be from China to buy one.

I worked on these slabs for several months.  There are 52 unique floors in this building, and I had to design them all.  Slabs.  Slabs.  Slabs.  All day every day for months.  You may find me crazy, but for the most part, I actually liked it.  But there were definitely stretches where I found myself drifting away.

It was during one of these tough lulls that I unexpectedly got an excited tap on my should from my pod-mate Farshad (awesome guy).  In his silky Iranian accent he exclaims "Trace, your slab looks like the big blue monster from Monsters Inc.!" He was totally right and we had a good chuckle about it, as did everyone I showed. And afterward I was never bored designing that slab. With that in perspective, I think their asking price of $21,000,000 is totally justified. You could live on Sully's face!